Month: September 2012

  • A lite post...

    I haven't done one of these "surveys" in ages... and though i have deeper thoughts I could post, I will just do the survey today.  I know I'm just wasting time and not wanting to think about anything too deep right now. 

    BTW: This survey was "borrowed" from megabyyte.

    1. What Eye color do you find sexiest

    A cool steely grey, or a pretty green 

    2. White, milk, or dark chocolate mocha?

    milk chocolate, I suppose (I hate white chocolate, btw)

    3. If you could get a Sharpie tattoo on your back, what would it be?

    Probably a small word/phrase that is meaningful to me, written in a pretty font.  Or... something that relates to my son. 

    4. Did you grow up in a small or big town? Did you like it?

    I have lived in both (we moved a lot)... I guess I liked them all. 

    5. Your favorite adult as a child?

    My grandma (though I didn't get to see her after I was age 8.)

    6. What kind of smoothie sounds really good right now?

    Strawberry banana, I suppose - though I'm not really in the mood for a smoothie at this moment.

    7. Most embarrassing moment from your elementary school years?

    My 5th grade teacher calling attention to the fact that I didn't know division (she didn't take into account that I had moved multiple times over several years, and was never taught them, I guess) and she asked in front of the class if she should bring a 3rd grader into the classroom to show me. 

    8. Most embarrassing moment from your middle school years?

    There may have been something more embarrassing, but the memory that comes to mind is a foiled April Fool's Day prank - where I attempted to get the entire History class to throw wadded up paper at the teacher at a specific time... nobody ended up doing it except me and one other person.  Some girl in class ratted me out and I had to have my parents sign a note for the teacher.  (I wasn't much of a trouble-maker, so my step mom just laughed about it.)

    9. Most embarrassing moment from your high school years?

    I think the time I got in trouble for signing a note from my step mom, saying that my absence was excused.  I wasn't going to get into big trouble, since I had never done anything before - but my step mom told her to give me Saturday School. 

    10. Pirates or ninjas? Why?

    Pirates.  Johnny Depp, that's why. ;-P

    11. Have you ever climbed a tree more than twenty feet off the ground?

    No, I probably only climbed up 10-15'... I was kind of afraid that I would get too high and get stuck up in the tree.

    12. Did you like swinging as a child? Do you still get excited when you see a swing set?

    Yes, loved it.  I like it now... I don't know that I get "excited" though.

    13. If you could have any pet in the world, illegal or not, what would you get?

    On the normal side... A golden retriever.   If it was something a little more exotic... A red fox.

    14. What's your most favorite part of your body?

    My eyes, I guess if I have to choose. 

    15. What's your most favorite part of your personality?

    I guess my deeper side (if I have someone around to appreciate it)... funny how I can't validate that - I have to have someone else do it for me. 

    16. Madonna or Lady Gaga? Neither? Both? 

    Don't really care for either...

    17. Have you ever watched the Superbowl all the way through?

    I don't think so... watched some of the game and a lot of the commercials (the best part, in my opinion).

    18. Have you ever watched any major sporting event drunk?

    No.

    19. What's the most delicious food you've ever eaten in your life?

    meal:  maybe ravioli di portabella, from Olive Garden (I hate that I can't remember something better than that)
    dessert: a homemade Hummingbird cake 

    20. Margarine or butter? Which did you grow up with?

    Butter; grew up with both

    21. Whole, skim, 1%, or 2% milk? (Did you know they make 1 1/2% milk?)

    2%... Skim milk upsets my stomach, 1% is ok.  And no, I didn't know that they make 1 1/2% milk.

    22. Which continents have you been on?

    Only this one, North America

    23. Do you get motion sickness? Any horror stories?

    I've gotten car sick and sea sick.  Story:  Both my dog and I got horribly sick on a car trip from New Mexico to Florida.  It was awful.  I guess it's possible I may have had a bug instead of carsickness.  ///  I got seasick when my dad took me deep sea fishing once - I bit into the Dramamine he gave me, by accident - I slept for almost the whole time we were on the boat.

    24. Backpacks or satchels?

    Satchel, if I could ever find one with just the right straps.

    25. Would you wear a rainbow jacket? A neon yellow sweater? Checkered pants?

    None of the above.

    26. What was your favorite cartoon growing up?

    Hmmm... maybe Smurfs.

    27. If you had to have a cow or a pig, which would you take? Why?

    If I had to - then I suppose it would be a mini pig (they're kind of cute like a dog, and I think they're fairly smart too.) 

    28. If you had to look at one city skyline for the rest of your life, which would it be?

    City... I guess New York (though I've never been there).  Go big, or go home.  lol

    29. Longest plane ride you've ever been on?

    About 3 1/2 hours total, I think (FL to TX)

    30. The latest you've ever slept?

    I forget really... but maybe 5pm?  It was probably a combo of not being able to sleep the night before along w/ medicine that made me sleepy.  

    31. Would you buy a sweater covered in kitten pictures? Would you wear it if someone gave it you for free?

    I would do it if I knew it would get a laugh.

    32. Do you pick at scabs?

    :( yes - it's a horrible fault of mine (I'm kind of OCD about it)

    33. Favorite kind of bean? Kidney? Black? Pinto?

    Black (but I like all 3 types listed)

    34. How far can you throw a baseball?

    Not far. 

    35. If you had to move to another country, where would you move?

    Top 3 choices:  Ireland, Japan, Russia. 

    36. Have you ever eaten Ethiopian food? Vietnamese? Korean? Nepalese? How was it?

    A Korean friend made some potstickers for me once... so I suppose that counts.  I think I liked it too (it was my 1st time having them). 

    37. Small, liberal arts school or public university? Why?

    I don't know - I would have to weigh the strength of the program I want to go into -versus- cost and location. 

    38. A relationship with love or one with sex?

    love (but sex is part of the love too, right?)

    39. Do you eat enough vegetables?

    No - I do better on some days though

    40. Do you like horror movies? How about thrillers?

    NO horror flicks.  Is thriller the same as "suspense"?  I can handle suspense, but nothing with horror in it.

    41. Would you scratch a crotch itch in public?

    If I absolutely had to - and knew for a fact no one would see me! (Ew, I know)

    42. Do you swear in front of your parents?

    Not really.

    43. Coolest thing you've ever been for Halloween?

    I don't really think the word "cool" and "me" mingle too much... lol  (I wish I had pictures of me in halloween costumes growing up... Kind of feeling sad that I don't have many pictures from my childhood.)

    44. If you could change your natural hair color, would you? To what?

    Yes -- Red... if I could find the right shade that matched my skin tone... and that didn't scream bozo the clown.  I've wanted to do it, but never have had the guts. 

    45. Do you want to get married? Have kids?

    Yes, I want to get married!  Sadly, I think I'm kind of too old to have any more children... but if I could I would, if my husband was agreeable.

    46. Do you use a reusable water bottle? If not, you should.

    I'm guilty of using disposable water bottles sometimes... but mostly I just use a glass all day at home for water. 

    47. City or nature person?

    I lean more towards nature. 

    48. Have you ever used something other than "makeup" as makeup? (Like paint? Markers?)

    maybe lipstick to write with - I forget... 

    49. Can you walk well in high heels? Even if you're a guy?

    No.  I only buy flat shoes too. 

    50. Post 5 awesome things about yourself. BRAG AWAY!

    I don't want to fill this out right now... ugh.

    1. 

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    5. 

  • Blue Eyed

     

    I once saw an amazing video when taking a Teaching Diverse Populations class in college.  It's called Blue Eyed (with Jane Elliot).  It is incredible & an eye opener.  If you have some spare time on your hands, please watch!!

    The 1st few seconds are in spanish, and it has spanish subtitles, but the video is in english.

     

    Part One:

     

    Part Two:

     

  • confession

     

    Okay... I have an odd confession to make... when I read a news article about someone - if it mentions something about what was written on the person's facebook... I will attempt to go find it.  I'm generally successful in finding it too. 

    I don't know if this makes me creepy and/or voyeuristic - or just simply a person who is up for the challenge in finding the person like the journalist(s) did.  I think it does say something to the matter that I have too much time on my hands. 

    Apparently, I'm not the only one who does this too... when I visit the pages, it's generally been "hit" by several others before me - typically it is with lots of nasty notes, sometimes a note saying they are praying for someone affected, etc.  I haven't ever written anything on these type of pages - I don't think I ever would either. 

    On a side note - a sad thing I see from tragic events, is internet "trolls" who put up facebook pages portraying themselves to be the perpetrator - feeding off the anger and pain of others.  Who are these people and why must they be so cruel and cold-hearted?  

     

     

     

  • Digging my heels in

     

    Someone said to me today... "it's interesting to see how you're digging your heels in about this issue".  

    It's not interesting.  And I know it's not cute or funny either.  It IS frustrating, and it makes me angry at myself - while also making me angry at them for "pushing" in a way I don't like... why can't they take some time to find an alternate way to help me (so I don't dig my heels in) -- or is it just simply wrong for me to ask them to cater to me in that way? 


    Thoughts and feelings about the things I'm powerless over.

    • There are things I really, really need to do - that I really, really need to take care of... things that would make me a "healthier" person.  These are the things I dig my heels in about.  I know I am not powerless over these issues -- but I guess I put myself in a position to make them have power over me, to allow myself to be a victim to these issues (again and again and again) - but they feel bigger than me too.  
      • I would much rather analyze why I am struggling with this issue than to deal with it, which I know is not going to help the matter.
      • I already know that some of the issue is co-dependency, some of it is desire for validation, some of it is self-hatred, some of it's stubbornness (I want it my way or no way), some of it is perfectionism (the feeling that it will never be enough, that it's too big to deal with, that it will never end.).
        • There may be more reasons... but that doesn't matter - "just doing it" is what matters.
      • I hate the statement "just do it" -- it reaffirms the fact that, at the end of the day, emotions don't matter - it's just about doing what needs to be done.  I don't want to rely on my emotions, but I guess I want them to matter - but I know I need to get past them driving my actions too.
      • And so... here I have over-analyzed the whole issue... and I still don't want to take a freaking step towards doing anything about it...
        • if I did do something about it, it would mean...  
          • that the person I did it for was not me - it would be for THEIR approval too 
          • I know I wouldn't give myself the pat on the back - because I would judge my actions as not good enough
          • I would hate the feeling of expectation of doing it again to make others happy 

            I have over-freaking-analyzed this issue enough... I actually could break it down more - it's not getting me anywhere though!!  :(

    Ways I've discovered God or sensed His presence today.

    •  - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -    

    Today's victories.

    • None yet, but the day's not over yet, I guess.

    Today's defeats.

    • digging my heels in...  
    • wanting to shut down after being pushed to "just do it"
    • negative thoughts and feeling like a failure over-all because I won't give in
     
     
  • ptc09072012

     


    Thoughts and feelings about the things I'm powerless over.

    • feeling frustrated about feeling like I can't file anything in court.  Feeling like I'll never get anywhere with this too.  Hoping that I'm just being pessimistic and short-sighted.  I don't like the sense of not having direction or an "unknown ending".  I found myself thinking earlier today about how positive my mom has been since reuniting with me after I was an adult (we were spearated from the time I was 8-18 years old) -- I don't know if I could be as positive as she's been when/if that ever happens with my son and I -- I tend to "get stuck" on what should have been, on what was lost, and sometimes forget to "be in the moment" and enjoy/appreciate what I do have in that day...

    Ways I've discovered God or sensed His presence today.

    •  - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -   I hope this will change 

    Today's victories.

    • cooked a fairly healthy dinner  (baked tilapia and steamed broccoli).. though I probably did use a little more butter than I should have
    • got more stuff in the mail that I have been wanting to send out.  Still have one more to get done and out... 
    • received news that I received a deferment for a student loan - now if I can only somehow talk the other company into moving my other student loan into deferment somehow (I didn't file the papers in time and they went into default)    I prob shouldn't be negative in this "section" about victories, huh?

    Today's defeats.

    • too much sugar after dinner  (just a few short hours after talking to my mom about how much less sugar I have than 2 years ago)
    • I didn't pull stuff out of my car that I need to deal with... I hate when I let things pile up and when I procrastinate too
     
     
  • food trigger

    I've recently been educating myself a lot more about the problems with GMO's (not just for human's - though that's a pretty significant issue in itself) and it' kind of scary that people in the US have the wool pulled over their eyes and don't seem to care because they want to just stick with what they have known (or at least they think they're still eating the same foods as when they were kids.)

    I wish people would consider the reasons why they now won't label GMO's; why other countries (including starving nations) are forbidding GMO foods too...

    GMOs have been scientifically linked to health problems. These problems include: 

    • infertility
    • organ damage 
    • certain cancers 
    • leaky gut 
    • autism 
    • autoimmune diseases 
    • allergies
    • birth defects 
    • inflammatory bowel diseases
    • learning disabilities
    • attention deficit disorders
    • accelerated aging
    • faulty insulin regulation

    ... and this list doesn't even mention the MULTIPLE environmental problems that GMO's cause.

    Sounds a little crazy to still buy & serve to our families, wouldn't you agree??  

    I hope more people would do some research and advocate that GMO's be banned from our foods in the US.

     

    In case you are interested - here are some facebook pages that are are against GMO's.  Some are a little more "extreme" than others - but I guess some people are a little more passionate about keeping our planet and their families alive than others.

    • https://www.facebook.com/RealFoodChallenge
    • https://www.facebook.com/foodwarriornetwork
    • https://www.facebook.com/Foodinc
    • https://www.facebook.com/LabelitYourself
    • https://www.facebook.com/organicconsumers
    • https://www.facebook.com/FoodDemocracyNow
    • https://www.facebook.com/SustainableMan
    • https://www.facebook.com/pages/The-Center-for-Food-Safetys-True-Food-Network
    • https://www.facebook.com/millionsagainst
    • https://www.facebook.com/occupymonsanto
    • https://www.facebook.com/pages/Matter-of-Trust

     

  • Yummy salad recipe

     

    You will love this salad recipe... I recommend buying organic products for the recipe if feasible.  I didn't put how much of anything that you will need, because it will depend on how many servings you are making and what your taste is for each item.

    • Mixed greens (or baby mixed greens)
    • Sliced fresh strawberries
    • Seedless red grapes, cut in half  (they will be good even if they are tart, rather than sweet - either taste good)
    • Goat cheese (I recommend the one that comes in a "log", rather than crumbled - the crumbled type is a little drier), break it up onto the salad.
    • Sliced avocado  (either a half or a whole avocado, depending on the size and how much you like avocado too)
    • Slice mushrooms
    • Roasted, salted pistachios as a topping  (other nuts can be substituted, I've also used sliced cashews - I like pistachios better though)
    • Dressing: A mixture of two dressings -- Newman's Own Lite Balsamic -and- Newman's Own Lite Raspberry & Walnut vinagrettes.  I typically use a little more of the Lite Balsamic than the other, because I like the tartness.

     

    Enjoy!!  I wish I had a picture of the salad (maybe I will take one the next time I make it - which won't be long from now, I'm sure.)

  • Yeah, Starbucks :)

     

    If you love Starbucks - you will LOVE, LOVE, LOVE this deal... Get a $10 gift Starbucks gift card for just $5 (only valid for about 8 hours from time of this posting) 

    https://www.livingsocial.com/deals/448600?ref=conf-jp&rpi=80001892

    ~Katie :)

  • will I ever celebrate recovery ?

     

    So, today I went to a Celebrate Recovery class here in Texas.  I have never been to Celebrate Recovery before (but I have been to something similar).  I have a hard time with comparing new experiences with old experiences - but I know I need to fight this issue if I want this class to go successfully. 

    Going tonight made me think about of one of the old groups I went to - how the main leader made me feel wanted and valuable as a part of the group.  I know I want that - but can't "expect" it.  It made me homesick for Georgia - but I know things might be a different even if I did find some way to make it back to Georgia eventually. 

    I didn't tell my mom that I went to the class, I didn't want her to pry - - I told her I was doing something else related to my volunteer work/job.  She wanted to ask a lot of questions about that even, and got a little upset that I didn't "spill" about my experience... I think it's better that I am keeping this from her - I don't want to risk setbacks during this.

    Tonight in class I got to watch a testimony from someone who had been through the group, which was really good.  Afterwards I met with a woman who showed a video of various people who talked about why they joined Celebrate Recovery... she shared a little about what brought her to the group too.  I didn't share a lot - I guess it takes me a little bit to warm up to people to share sometimes.

    Overall, I am glad I didn't leave with a bad taste in my mouth about the group.  The group wasn't too big nor too small... I am trying not to have expectations and need to work on not comparing it in several different ways... I think there are a lot of bubbling emotions regarding my walk/feelings towards God and my lack of relationship with him right now... I worry about how that might interfere with "the process" somewhat - but I guess I need to just be present with where I'm at and tackle those issues as they come up. 


    Thoughts and feelings about the things I'm powerless over.

    • Struggling with feeling "stuck" here in Texas - it's funny how a new situation/experience will enhance that feeling somewhat.

    Ways I've discovered God or sensed His presence today.

    • I hope that God is opening a door to healing with him - and will help me through the stubbornness I am dealing with in regards to having a relationship with Him.

    Today's victories.

    • I was told I got the job today.  Pay rate wasn't nearly as high as originally stated, but I'm grateful to have work, routine and purpose.
    • I went to Celebrate Recovery today.

    Today's defeats.

    • I think I did okay today... not perfect - but okay.